As you read the title, were you facetiously thinking, "Just suddenly release all of my negative emotions? Why didn't I think of that!?" ;)
But it does sound nice in theory, doesn't it? And here's the kicker.
It Is Possible.
So often, when it comes to unpleasant emotions and memories, the instinct is to bury them- to make tracks and put so much space between us and them that we can just forget about them! However, we all know that this method doesn't really work- right?
Even if we do successfully forget about whatever-it-is for a brief period, it doesn't take long until they've festered and built up strength and come back to kick our asses.
This is because the key isn't to deny these feelings and emotions. It's to embrace them. I know this might seem counter intuitive -AND- if you want to release and heal these negative emotions and memories so much faster and experience long term results then this is the route you want to take.
Own your negative emotions. Embrace them. Make love to them. Surrender to them. And then you will be free to let them go. Have you ever heard the phrase, "The only way out is through,"? Let this become your new mantra for releasing and healing negative emotions.
By owning your negative emotions and painful memories- you are Accepting Personal Responsibility for them. Is this starting to sound familiar? Are you able to see how the steps are weaving together now?
Bring a negative emotion to mind (one that is fresh for you), and own the way you feel. For instance, if you feel sad then say out loud,
"I feel sad."
If you are depressed then say it out loud,
"I feel depressed."
And then notice the relief you feel wash over you as you surrender to that emotion, instead of fighting to deny it. Now you are free to let it go, and choose to feel a different way, instead.
This is certainly not the only step in completely healing and releasing negative emotions, but it is a Huge first step that will make an immediate difference in how you feel.
A first step you can feel immensely proud of!
That's it for today, so until next time...
I'm sending you love and respect.
Cindy
Cindy Neder Highfield
Life Coach, Tantra Counselor
Majestic Living, LLC.
www.majesticlivingnow.com
cindy@majesticlivingnow.com
(646) 202-1782
Let the journey begin...
Spring is in the air!
As we approach the Vernal Equinox, we can feel our bodies’ subtle (or not so subtle) cries for balance. The time has come to shed winter layers and come out of the darkness into the light! We feel an energy building inside us to connect with that sensation of potential energy surrounding us: the snow melting, the days getting longer and the first signs of new green peeking up at us from the earth. Buds on trees are preparing to burst into new life and flowers are pushing themselves up through the soil. In no time we will be basking in the warmth of the sun again!
What does your body need at this exciting time of transition?
Are you anxious to get moving and feel your muscles toning and slimming again?
Have you noticed any particular cravings at this time of year?
Have you ever considered a Spring cleaning for your body to mirror the one you will probably do for your home or closet?
Spring is a wonderful time to cleanse away toxins and impurities that have been
taking up valuable real estate in your body throughout the winter months. There are wonderful health benefits to cleansing including relieving stress on many of your vital organs, increased energy, clearing out toxins that can lead to discomfort and disease in the body, and more time to accomplish your goals. A cleanse can range from a gentle stepping back from your normal diet to remove
chemicals and processed foods, to a full on fruit and vegetable juice only diet.
As a part of your cleanse you may choose to include a trip to the bath house for sauna or massage, a colonic, or a specific yoga regimen. Cleanses can be done solo or in a group for support and can be altered to suit your personal schedule or dietary needs. A cleanse doesn't have to be something that you suffer through either! It can be fun and full of activities and education that set you on a path for maximum overall health leading into the warm weather seasons.
What are you letting go of at this time of year?
During any transition, it is a valuable process to check in with the needs of the physical self and find systems of support to help us maximize our energy and make the most of every day. If you are considering a Spring cleanse for the first time, make sure to do so with the support of a health professional or nutritionist who can guide you in making the strongest choices for your body.
For information about a Guided Spring Detox & Cleanse Program, please visit Deborah’s Holistic Nutrition website.
So! You've been living in your YES for 5 days now, and I'm so excited for you. :)
Right around this point in your journey, many people experience a similar bump in the road. I'd like to share a quick tip to help you smoothly transition over this bump (if it is/or becomes true for you at any future point). And that is: What do you do when you and your partner's Yes' are not in alignment? Take the proper time to prioritize.
You'd be surprised how often I hear the question: "But what do I do when it's not in my partner's Yes to help take care of the kids/house work/etc...? What do we do then?"
My answer? Prioritize!
When you get clear on what your priorities are, suddenly the big Yes' fall into place.
If you feel like you and your partner are on separate pages about a particular issue, I recommend sitting down together and talking about what's really important to you as individuals, and as a couple. Chances are, you'll find some common ground together.
Before you know it, you'll realize that even though it's not in your Yes to do chores everyday when you get home-- it is in your YES to assist your partner in feeling happy, supported and loved. Or, the Beloved who loves going out every night with their friends instead of helping out with the kids may realize that in the bigger picture, having a family and being spending quality parenting time with their kids is more in their Yes than going out each night.
note: (Please don't misunderstand me. I am definitely using rather extreme examples here to make a point. My intention is not to judge or condone any behavior, but merely offer another perspective and some helpful hints. I'm not advocating that you shouldn't go out with your friends again, or that you need to turn yourself into a daily cleaning machine. Because I want you to be exactly who you are! And, on the flip side, hanging out with friends when your partner is willing to put the kid's to bed can be a great way to get some much needed re-juicing time and in my opinion, is an important priority, too! A great guide in every situation is balance. :) )
And there you have it! May you and your partner always enjoy being in your YES- just remember the true keys are prioritizing and staying balanced.
I'm sending you love and respect.
And, until next time... keep your eyes on the Big Picture!
Cindy
Cindy Neder Highfield
Life Coach, Tantra Counselor
Majestic Living, LLC.
www.majesticlivingnow.com
cindy@majesticlivingnow.com
(646) 202-1782
Let the journey begin...
This is the one step I really see change people's attitudes and lives right there in our session. I love working with someone and seeing their "light bulbs" go off. :)
... And, this step definitely has, what I call, the light bulb effect! ...
Ok, so let's get to the down and dirty because this step is a quick one.
Let's face it: when we were kids, and we asked our parents for something... there were 3 possible answers:
Yes. No. or Maybe.
And I knew that if I heard "maybe"... in most cases I could ware my parents down to a "yes" by the end of the week.
However, we are no longer children, and we don't have to seek anyone else's permission these days. Unfortunately... many people still do tell themselves "maybe" quite a lot.
Every time you tell yourself maybe- you are settling. When you are living in maybe- you are living in complacency.
So often we wonder why we feel passionless, bored and worn down... but all the choices we are making on a daily basis are "settling" choices- instead of ones that support us in feeling passionate and delicious!
Is this starting to make sense? Can you see where in your life you've been settling instead of taking a stand for yourself?... And how you feel each time you settle?
If you're ready to stop settling- here's what I propose!
From now on the only answers to any given question are:
Yes, or No.
There is no Maybe. Get rid of it- don't let it exist anymore.
This means that only a 100% Yes is a Yes. Anything less is a No.
For example, a 68% Yes = No. ... A 99.9% Yes = No.
I know this may sound a little extreme, but until this practice becomes 2nd nature to you, and it is an easy, healthy part of your life- I definitely recommend taking a no-excuses/no-shit-no-kidding approach.
And, through doing this exercise, I am positive you are going to love your results and the new way you start to feel immediately.
I am confident that you're going to love living in your Yes! so much that you'll never revert back to your old ways of "settling" again.
I send you all love and respect, and
Until next time...
Cindy
Cindy Neder Highfield
Life Coach, Tantra Counselor
Majestic Living, LLC.
www.majesticlivingnow.com
cindy@majesticlivingnow.com
(646) 202-1782
Let the journey begin...
For the readers out there who are wondering: what on Earth are The 9 Steps to Re-Claiming Your Inner Mojo(TM)? First of all I say, "Welcome!"
I am so glad you are here. :)
The 9 Steps to Re-Claiming Your Inner Mojo(TM) are the actual guidelines I've created over the last 2 years- based on the work I do with my own clients. These are the steps I guide them through in our coaching programs.
The 9 Steps have been designed to support you in loving yourself up, and making positive transformational life changes- when you're ready for them. It's effective, quick, easy, fun- and best of all, at the end of the process- most people feel so good you need to scrape them off the ceiling!
Before I sink my teeth into the first step of Re-Claiming Your Inner Mojo, I'd like to put a suggestion out to you. Now, obviously, you have not hired me as your coach, and these 9 Steps are my personal gift to you. However, you have the potential to really take them and make a significant difference in your life right now. With that in mind- just do me a favor and try out every exercise, tip, trick, and step we cover. Seriously- you're not paying for this content... so you have nothing to lose. But just think if it really works out as well as I know it can! How cool would that be?
Alright, so here we go!
Inner Mojo Step #1:
ACCEPT PERSONAL RESPONSIBILITY.
Now, I know that this first step may sound simplistic and self-explanatory, but before you poo-poo it just think about it. How many people- yourself included- do you know who REALLY accept full responsibility for themselves?
I'm not just talking about the big ones... like showing up to work everyday, being a good parent, or making your bills on time every month (which are SO important). I'm talking about the seemingly little things, too!
For instance: have you ever been late for a date or appointment, and made excuses for yourself? ...(even if they were really Really good ones)? Or, have you ever found yourself in the heat of an argument and saying, "You make me SO _(mad/sad/angry/frustrated/etc...)_!" or "I hate it when you always ____(fill in the blank)___!" Those two statements are examples of not accepting Emotional Responsibility for yourself.
Let's take a closer look at the first statement:
"You make me SO..."
In this example, the speaker is not owning their own emotions... instead they're blaming someone else for how they feel. When you think about it- doesn't that just sound silly? I mean- who really has the power to control your emotions? YOU. That's right... you are in control of the experience you're having right now, and you are the only one who can change it. In fact- if you don't like how you're feeling at any given moment, or the results you're getting... it is your responsibility to change it (because no one else will).
It sounds great, right? Change the way you feel and you'll change the results you're getting. For those of you out there who are wondering 'how do I go about doing that'?- I've got a couple great tips to start you on the journey of accepting personal responsibility that you can put into practice today.
1. Stop blaming and making excuses. No exceptions. (I know it may sound a little harsh, however my intention is to make a strong point.) When you're late for a date or an appointment- even by a minute or 2... what you're silently saying to the person you're meeting is that your time is more important than theirs. So, instead of making an excuse and validating that your reason for being late is more important than your commitment to them- just simply acknowledge your lateness, and apologize. It's as simple as that. Let them know that you care, and you're sorry to have wasted their time. When people know you genuinely care about them- you'll go a lot farther with them, and they'll be more inclined to trust you sooner.
2. Take responsibility for your emotions. The next time you feel like someone has caused you anger, pain, frustration, embarrassment, etc... try changing how you communicate your feelings. Let's say, for example, that your partner leaves their dirty socks on the kitchen table after you've just cleaned it, and you're mad because they just saw you clean the table! Instead of blaming, take this marvelous sentence and fill in the blanks.
"Hunny, when you put your dirty socks on the table, I feel mad."
See how that works? All of a sudden you're making a statement about what you're partner did... and letting them know how you feel because of their behavior. You're not blaming... you're not arguing.... and now the door is open for you to make a reasonable request!
3. At the end of each day, right before you go to bed, make a quick mental note of your whole day... and begin to take 100% responsibility for all of your emotions that day. For instance, say to yourself, "At breakfast today I chose to feel happy. On my way to work I chose to feel stressed out and rushed. At work I chose to feel distracted. At lunch I chose to feel giddy and silly. Etc..."
Cover your whole day that way... and leave nothing out!
And, last but not least:
4. Only say you're sorry when you're willing to not repeat the behavior you're apologizing for. I know this one may sound a little strident, however I find it is a good general guide. If you think about it- if you're doing something that you genuinely feel warrants an apology- you've hurt someone deeply. And so you apologize... then you repeat the behavior again and again and again--then in some ways the apology becomes the excuse that makes it OK for us to hurt the ones we care about.
Just by implementing these 4 simple tips into your daily life, I am confident that you will begin to, emotionally, feel so much clearer. What a relief to have less tension with your partner. And, how wonderful it feels to build rapport quickly with colleagues and friends!
I am so excited for you to let go of life skills and habits that aren't working for you- and embrace the ones that do. Perhaps for you that means beginning with these 4 tips!
Stay tuned in for step #2 of 9 this Tuesday! I look forward to seeing you then. :)
I'm sending you love and respect, and
Until next time...
Cindy
Cindy Neder Highfield
Life Coach, Tantra Counselor
Majestic Living, LLC.
www.majesticlivingnow.com
cindy@majesticlivingnow.com
(646) 202-1782
Let the journey begin...