For the readers out there who are wondering: what on Earth are The 9 Steps to Re-Claiming Your Inner Mojo(TM)? First of all I say, "Welcome!"
I am so glad you are here. :)
The 9 Steps to Re-Claiming Your Inner Mojo(TM) are the actual guidelines I've created over the last 2 years- based on the work I do with my own clients. These are the steps I guide them through in our coaching programs.
The 9 Steps have been designed to support you in loving yourself up, and making positive transformational life changes- when you're ready for them. It's effective, quick, easy, fun- and best of all, at the end of the process- most people feel so good you need to scrape them off the ceiling!
Before I sink my teeth into the first step of Re-Claiming Your Inner Mojo, I'd like to put a suggestion out to you. Now, obviously, you have not hired me as your coach, and these 9 Steps are my personal gift to you. However, you have the potential to really take them and make a significant difference in your life right now. With that in mind- just do me a favor and try out every exercise, tip, trick, and step we cover. Seriously- you're not paying for this content... so you have nothing to lose. But just think if it really works out as well as I know it can! How cool would that be?
Alright, so here we go!
Inner Mojo Step #1:
ACCEPT PERSONAL RESPONSIBILITY.
Now, I know that this first step may sound simplistic and self-explanatory, but before you poo-poo it just think about it. How many people- yourself included- do you know who REALLY accept full responsibility for themselves?
I'm not just talking about the big ones... like showing up to work everyday, being a good parent, or making your bills on time every month (which are SO important). I'm talking about the seemingly little things, too!
For instance: have you ever been late for a date or appointment, and made excuses for yourself? ...(even if they were really Really good ones)? Or, have you ever found yourself in the heat of an argument and saying, "You make me SO _(mad/sad/angry/frustrated/etc...)_!" or "I hate it when you always ____(fill in the blank)___!" Those two statements are examples of not accepting Emotional Responsibility for yourself.
Let's take a closer look at the first statement:
"You make me SO..."
In this example, the speaker is not owning their own emotions... instead they're blaming someone else for how they feel. When you think about it- doesn't that just sound silly? I mean- who really has the power to control your emotions? YOU. That's right... you are in control of the experience you're having right now, and you are the only one who can change it. In fact- if you don't like how you're feeling at any given moment, or the results you're getting... it is your responsibility to change it (because no one else will).
It sounds great, right? Change the way you feel and you'll change the results you're getting. For those of you out there who are wondering 'how do I go about doing that'?- I've got a couple great tips to start you on the journey of accepting personal responsibility that you can put into practice today.
1. Stop blaming and making excuses. No exceptions. (I know it may sound a little harsh, however my intention is to make a strong point.) When you're late for a date or an appointment- even by a minute or 2... what you're silently saying to the person you're meeting is that your time is more important than theirs. So, instead of making an excuse and validating that your reason for being late is more important than your commitment to them- just simply acknowledge your lateness, and apologize. It's as simple as that. Let them know that you care, and you're sorry to have wasted their time. When people know you genuinely care about them- you'll go a lot farther with them, and they'll be more inclined to trust you sooner.
2. Take responsibility for your emotions. The next time you feel like someone has caused you anger, pain, frustration, embarrassment, etc... try changing how you communicate your feelings. Let's say, for example, that your partner leaves their dirty socks on the kitchen table after you've just cleaned it, and you're mad because they just saw you clean the table! Instead of blaming, take this marvelous sentence and fill in the blanks.
"Hunny, when you put your dirty socks on the table, I feel mad."
See how that works? All of a sudden you're making a statement about what you're partner did... and letting them know how you feel because of their behavior. You're not blaming... you're not arguing.... and now the door is open for you to make a reasonable request!
3. At the end of each day, right before you go to bed, make a quick mental note of your whole day... and begin to take 100% responsibility for all of your emotions that day. For instance, say to yourself, "At breakfast today I chose to feel happy. On my way to work I chose to feel stressed out and rushed. At work I chose to feel distracted. At lunch I chose to feel giddy and silly. Etc..."
Cover your whole day that way... and leave nothing out!
And, last but not least:
4. Only say you're sorry when you're willing to not repeat the behavior you're apologizing for. I know this one may sound a little strident, however I find it is a good general guide. If you think about it- if you're doing something that you genuinely feel warrants an apology- you've hurt someone deeply. And so you apologize... then you repeat the behavior again and again and again--then in some ways the apology becomes the excuse that makes it OK for us to hurt the ones we care about.
Just by implementing these 4 simple tips into your daily life, I am confident that you will begin to, emotionally, feel so much clearer. What a relief to have less tension with your partner. And, how wonderful it feels to build rapport quickly with colleagues and friends!
I am so excited for you to let go of life skills and habits that aren't working for you- and embrace the ones that do. Perhaps for you that means beginning with these 4 tips!
Stay tuned in for step #2 of 9 this Tuesday! I look forward to seeing you then. :)
I'm sending you love and respect, and
Until next time...
Cindy
Cindy Neder Highfield
Life Coach, Tantra Counselor
Majestic Living, LLC.
www.majesticlivingnow.com
cindy@majesticlivingnow.com
(646) 202-1782
Let the journey begin...
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