So! You've been living in your YES for 5 days now, and I'm so excited for you. :)
Right around this point in your journey, many people experience a similar bump in the road. I'd like to share a quick tip to help you smoothly transition over this bump (if it is/or becomes true for you at any future point). And that is: What do you do when you and your partner's Yes' are not in alignment? Take the proper time to prioritize.
You'd be surprised how often I hear the question: "But what do I do when it's not in my partner's Yes to help take care of the kids/house work/etc...? What do we do then?"
My answer? Prioritize!
When you get clear on what your priorities are, suddenly the big Yes' fall into place.
If you feel like you and your partner are on separate pages about a particular issue, I recommend sitting down together and talking about what's really important to you as individuals, and as a couple. Chances are, you'll find some common ground together.
Before you know it, you'll realize that even though it's not in your Yes to do chores everyday when you get home-- it is in your YES to assist your partner in feeling happy, supported and loved. Or, the Beloved who loves going out every night with their friends instead of helping out with the kids may realize that in the bigger picture, having a family and being spending quality parenting time with their kids is more in their Yes than going out each night.
note: (Please don't misunderstand me. I am definitely using rather extreme examples here to make a point. My intention is not to judge or condone any behavior, but merely offer another perspective and some helpful hints. I'm not advocating that you shouldn't go out with your friends again, or that you need to turn yourself into a daily cleaning machine. Because I want you to be exactly who you are! And, on the flip side, hanging out with friends when your partner is willing to put the kid's to bed can be a great way to get some much needed re-juicing time and in my opinion, is an important priority, too! A great guide in every situation is balance. :) )
And there you have it! May you and your partner always enjoy being in your YES- just remember the true keys are prioritizing and staying balanced.
I'm sending you love and respect.
And, until next time... keep your eyes on the Big Picture!
Cindy
Cindy Neder Highfield
Life Coach, Tantra Counselor
Majestic Living, LLC.
www.majesticlivingnow.com
cindy@majesticlivingnow.com
(646) 202-1782
Let the journey begin...
This is the one step I really see change people's attitudes and lives right there in our session. I love working with someone and seeing their "light bulbs" go off. :)
... And, this step definitely has, what I call, the light bulb effect! ...
Ok, so let's get to the down and dirty because this step is a quick one.
Let's face it: when we were kids, and we asked our parents for something... there were 3 possible answers:
Yes. No. or Maybe.
And I knew that if I heard "maybe"... in most cases I could ware my parents down to a "yes" by the end of the week.
However, we are no longer children, and we don't have to seek anyone else's permission these days. Unfortunately... many people still do tell themselves "maybe" quite a lot.
Every time you tell yourself maybe- you are settling. When you are living in maybe- you are living in complacency.
So often we wonder why we feel passionless, bored and worn down... but all the choices we are making on a daily basis are "settling" choices- instead of ones that support us in feeling passionate and delicious!
Is this starting to make sense? Can you see where in your life you've been settling instead of taking a stand for yourself?... And how you feel each time you settle?
If you're ready to stop settling- here's what I propose!
From now on the only answers to any given question are:
Yes, or No.
There is no Maybe. Get rid of it- don't let it exist anymore.
This means that only a 100% Yes is a Yes. Anything less is a No.
For example, a 68% Yes = No. ... A 99.9% Yes = No.
I know this may sound a little extreme, but until this practice becomes 2nd nature to you, and it is an easy, healthy part of your life- I definitely recommend taking a no-excuses/no-shit-no-kidding approach.
And, through doing this exercise, I am positive you are going to love your results and the new way you start to feel immediately.
I am confident that you're going to love living in your Yes! so much that you'll never revert back to your old ways of "settling" again.
I send you all love and respect, and
Until next time...
Cindy
Cindy Neder Highfield
Life Coach, Tantra Counselor
Majestic Living, LLC.
www.majesticlivingnow.com
cindy@majesticlivingnow.com
(646) 202-1782
Let the journey begin...
For the readers out there who are wondering: what on Earth are The 9 Steps to Re-Claiming Your Inner Mojo(TM)? First of all I say, "Welcome!"
I am so glad you are here. :)
The 9 Steps to Re-Claiming Your Inner Mojo(TM) are the actual guidelines I've created over the last 2 years- based on the work I do with my own clients. These are the steps I guide them through in our coaching programs.
The 9 Steps have been designed to support you in loving yourself up, and making positive transformational life changes- when you're ready for them. It's effective, quick, easy, fun- and best of all, at the end of the process- most people feel so good you need to scrape them off the ceiling!
Before I sink my teeth into the first step of Re-Claiming Your Inner Mojo, I'd like to put a suggestion out to you. Now, obviously, you have not hired me as your coach, and these 9 Steps are my personal gift to you. However, you have the potential to really take them and make a significant difference in your life right now. With that in mind- just do me a favor and try out every exercise, tip, trick, and step we cover. Seriously- you're not paying for this content... so you have nothing to lose. But just think if it really works out as well as I know it can! How cool would that be?
Alright, so here we go!
Inner Mojo Step #1:
ACCEPT PERSONAL RESPONSIBILITY.
Now, I know that this first step may sound simplistic and self-explanatory, but before you poo-poo it just think about it. How many people- yourself included- do you know who REALLY accept full responsibility for themselves?
I'm not just talking about the big ones... like showing up to work everyday, being a good parent, or making your bills on time every month (which are SO important). I'm talking about the seemingly little things, too!
For instance: have you ever been late for a date or appointment, and made excuses for yourself? ...(even if they were really Really good ones)? Or, have you ever found yourself in the heat of an argument and saying, "You make me SO _(mad/sad/angry/frustrated/etc...)_!" or "I hate it when you always ____(fill in the blank)___!" Those two statements are examples of not accepting Emotional Responsibility for yourself.
Let's take a closer look at the first statement:
"You make me SO..."
In this example, the speaker is not owning their own emotions... instead they're blaming someone else for how they feel. When you think about it- doesn't that just sound silly? I mean- who really has the power to control your emotions? YOU. That's right... you are in control of the experience you're having right now, and you are the only one who can change it. In fact- if you don't like how you're feeling at any given moment, or the results you're getting... it is your responsibility to change it (because no one else will).
It sounds great, right? Change the way you feel and you'll change the results you're getting. For those of you out there who are wondering 'how do I go about doing that'?- I've got a couple great tips to start you on the journey of accepting personal responsibility that you can put into practice today.
1. Stop blaming and making excuses. No exceptions. (I know it may sound a little harsh, however my intention is to make a strong point.) When you're late for a date or an appointment- even by a minute or 2... what you're silently saying to the person you're meeting is that your time is more important than theirs. So, instead of making an excuse and validating that your reason for being late is more important than your commitment to them- just simply acknowledge your lateness, and apologize. It's as simple as that. Let them know that you care, and you're sorry to have wasted their time. When people know you genuinely care about them- you'll go a lot farther with them, and they'll be more inclined to trust you sooner.
2. Take responsibility for your emotions. The next time you feel like someone has caused you anger, pain, frustration, embarrassment, etc... try changing how you communicate your feelings. Let's say, for example, that your partner leaves their dirty socks on the kitchen table after you've just cleaned it, and you're mad because they just saw you clean the table! Instead of blaming, take this marvelous sentence and fill in the blanks.
"Hunny, when you put your dirty socks on the table, I feel mad."
See how that works? All of a sudden you're making a statement about what you're partner did... and letting them know how you feel because of their behavior. You're not blaming... you're not arguing.... and now the door is open for you to make a reasonable request!
3. At the end of each day, right before you go to bed, make a quick mental note of your whole day... and begin to take 100% responsibility for all of your emotions that day. For instance, say to yourself, "At breakfast today I chose to feel happy. On my way to work I chose to feel stressed out and rushed. At work I chose to feel distracted. At lunch I chose to feel giddy and silly. Etc..."
Cover your whole day that way... and leave nothing out!
And, last but not least:
4. Only say you're sorry when you're willing to not repeat the behavior you're apologizing for. I know this one may sound a little strident, however I find it is a good general guide. If you think about it- if you're doing something that you genuinely feel warrants an apology- you've hurt someone deeply. And so you apologize... then you repeat the behavior again and again and again--then in some ways the apology becomes the excuse that makes it OK for us to hurt the ones we care about.
Just by implementing these 4 simple tips into your daily life, I am confident that you will begin to, emotionally, feel so much clearer. What a relief to have less tension with your partner. And, how wonderful it feels to build rapport quickly with colleagues and friends!
I am so excited for you to let go of life skills and habits that aren't working for you- and embrace the ones that do. Perhaps for you that means beginning with these 4 tips!
Stay tuned in for step #2 of 9 this Tuesday! I look forward to seeing you then. :)
I'm sending you love and respect, and
Until next time...
Cindy
Cindy Neder Highfield
Life Coach, Tantra Counselor
Majestic Living, LLC.
www.majesticlivingnow.com
cindy@majesticlivingnow.com
(646) 202-1782
Let the journey begin...
If you've been feeling run down lately- maybe you're having a hard time finding the motivation to get through the day... not to mention pursuing your own dreams and goals- and you're definitely NOT living in your creativity and pleasure... then you're ready to Re-Claim Your Inner Mojo!
I say "RE-Claim" because I believe that we are each born with the innate knowledge and wisdom to absolutely live full and delicious lives. However, over time these natural instincts are trained, taught, and programmed out of us through society, friends, family, or perhaps our own mis-understandings of the world.
These "programs" might be telling us "what it means to be good men/women", or "to never be satisfied with what we have", or that "our sexuality is private and taboo- totally separate from the rest of our lives" [and something that brings a lot of shameful and guilt-ridden baggage with it, too]!
The great news is that when you're ready to re-claim your own inner truths- by using The 9 Steps you can remember them easily, and begin having a different life experience, right now.
I've been teaching these 9 Steps to clients for the past 2 years, however, a couple months ago I knew it was finally time to write down clear-cut, tangible content to share with you!
Today I'm going to tell you what the 9 Steps are, and then in the next couple days I will post again- going more in depth on the first step. Each week I will cover a new step, as well as share a couple exercises, tricks, and tips with you, too.
Ok, seat-belts fastened? 'Cause here we go!
The 9 Steps to Re-Claiming Your Inner Mojo (TM):
1. Accept Personal Responsibility
- 2. Be in your YES!
- 3. Release Negative Emotions
- 4. Re-Write Unhealthy Habit Patterns
- 5. Discover What You really(Really) Want
- 6. Ignite Your Passion
- 7. Cultivate the Keys of Tantra for a Sexier You
- 8. Program Your Future
- 9. Create Your Personal Declaration
And that's it! Pretty simple, right? Now we can get down to the nitty-gritty, and discover what all that actually means. :)
The 9 Steps to Re-Claiming Your Inner Mojo (TM) is a system I've created expressly for my coaching clients to get them back into living their lives with passion, joy and pleasure (in a very short period of time). I'm very excited to be sharing quite a few of my secrets with you over the next 9 weeks!
Until then,
I'm sending you Love and Respect.
Cindy
Cindy Neder Highfield
Life Coach, Tantra Counselor
Majestic Living, LLC
www.majesticlivingnow.com
cindy@majesticlivingnow.com
(646) 202-1782
Let the journey begin...
When you're ready to invite a Life Coach into your life- the task of finding the right one can seem quite daunting. How do you guarantee it's a coach you can trust? What results can you expect? What exactly is the role of a life coach? I'm going to share with you some of my personal insider information about finding a great Life Coach.
First of all, when there are thousands of coaches to choose from, it's easy to see how people become overwhelmed when choosing between them. And, of course, the downside of getting overwhelmed is that you might end up procrastinating and putting the choice off- which means that not only do you suffer by not having the right coach in your life, but your potential coach is also missing out on the incredible experience of having you for a client. It's Lose/Lose all the way around.
Because you have so many options when choosing between Life Coaches, I always recommend getting as clear as you can about certain qualities that are important to you. If you're not quite sure what you want in a coach, then see if you can narrow down what you Don't want. For instance, some coaches are certified, while others aren't but they have a lot of hands-on experience. Some work only with women or only with men, some coaches are more traditional in their approach, while others may be more spiritual. For instance, because of my background in Eastern Philosophy and Tantra, people often contact me when they are seeking creative and non-religious based spiritual support. They are not feeling like they're totally experiencing the joy and pleasure in their lives, and by visiting my website, they know that in coming to me, we will heal and uproot the past that is no longer working for them, so that they can live in the present and then move forward so much more easily and quickly. As a general rule of thumb, Life Coaches will work with you on improving your life, as a whole, moving forward.
Once you've decided what traits are important in your ideal coach, you've searched around online or by word of mouth, and you think you've found a coach looks like a good match.
So, what comes next?
Well, I know it may sound simplistic, but read their website. Read all of it. You'll learn a lot about that coach and how they work by reading their already posted content. I know it may be tempting to call up and talk to the coach in person, but do yourself a favor and read the website from top to bottom. The 3 most valuable segments of a coaches website that you can read (in my opinion) are: 1. the About Them page/ 2. the Client Testimonials/ and 3. the FAQ's.
When reading the testimonials, really take the time to notice what is being said by the previous clients. It might sound really great if a coach is "...Really nice- a great person! They felt just like a best friend. I loved spending time with them." ...but if that's the case- be wary! Notice how the testimonial said nothing about the Results they got from working with that particular coach. You already have friends in your life, and you're not paying your coach to be your friend. Chances are if the coach is really good you will come to feel close to them naturally- however it will be a professional relationship built on mutual trust and respect- and Results!
Some of the most important facts that the FAQ should be able to tell you (and if it doesn't I highly recommend asking these questions anyway) are: What is that particular coach's working style? Who do they work best with? And, what would be expected of you, as their client?
If you're still interested in the coach- sign up for a "Getting Acquainted session" if they offer it (or their equivalent).
I know that price might be a big consideration for you. And, to be honest, you may spend anywhere from $100/month up to thousands a month depending on the coach and type of session package you choose, however truth be told that if you find the perfect coach for you- they will be worth Every Penny. Truly- I have turned my life around through working with some coaches of my own- and I know some of the incredible results that my clients have gotten just by working with me. If money is a concern for you, though, I think you'll be surprised to learn that often times coaches offer different packages to meet every budget. For instance, I offer 3 different packages to my clients- so that they can be empowered to make the right choice for them.
At the end of the day, the most important things to remember are that the very best coach will help grow the light inside yourself to shine even brighter. They are the perfect compliment to who you are: the gravy to your potatoes... the syrup to your pancakes. You're not broken- you certainly don't need to be fixed by a Life Coach. And, coaches certainly aren't miracle-makers, either. However, when you find the right Life Coach, and you put your ALL into working with them... seemingly a little magic can happen. Above all else, remember that you only get out what you put in. So, show up and "play the coaching game at 100%", trust the process, enjoy the ride- and reap the incredibly abundant benefits!
Happy coaching to you all, and until next time...
To learn more about Life Coach, Cindy Neder Highfield, Majestic Living, or any programs, classes, and sessions offered through Majestic Living, Click Here!
Here's an awesome exercise to help you ring in the New Year!
You can give this one a try by yourself, with a partner, or with a group of your friends.
Get 2 pieces of paper. On the first sheet write out everything you want to let go of from last year (2009). Any emotions, thoughts, grudges you may be still holding on to, and are not supporting you in being your absolute healthiest and happiest in this present moment. Let it all go- on that piece of paper. When you're ready (and on a fire-safe surface) burn the paper. As it burns, feel all of those old thoughts and feelings leave your body, too.
Now take that 2nd sheet of paper, and on it write everything in 2010 that you want to create and accomplish. Any goals you have in mind, places you want to travel to, relationships you'd like to create, etc... and keep that piece of paper in a very special place. It should be somewhere you will see it and remember it often.
At the end of 2010, I bet you'll be surprised how many items on your list have come to fruition!
Happy New Year to you all, and may this year be the start (or continuation) of something fantastic!
Until next time,
Cindy
Did you know that your breath does a lot more than just let you know that you're alive? It is also a gauge for letting you know what your body's experiencing. When you're excited- your breathing changes. When you're scared- your breathing changes. When you're relaxed- your breathing changes.
And, you know what's really cool? Your breathing will change even before your brain registers that anything's different. That's right. In fact... the natural changing of your breath is what allows your brain to register that something is up.
This means that if you can catch your breath right when it changes and slow it back down to a slow and steady pace, then you are going to significantly reduce the emotional impact you're about to experience- thereby reducing your stress!
The next time that you find yourself facing a potentially stressful situation, (as the Holidays tend to be for many) for instance:
Your relatives are mere minutes away from being on your doorstep, you're still prepping food, you haven't showered, and you just heard a crash in the other room that most likely indicates one of your children has destroyed the Christmas tree.....
OR... You're getting ready to go into the biggest meeting of your career. In fact, you future is riding on the impression you will make in the next 20 minutes and you're starting to feel a little queasy...
...before you panic...
try this quick and simple exercise!
It's called the Four-Sided Breath, and here's how it works. Each breath is made up of 4 segments that represent the 4 Elements (Fire, Air, Water, and Earth). Fire represents your physical side, Air is your mental and intellectual side, Water is your emotions, and Earth is your spirit. There are hundreds of different breath combinations, however the one I'm going to give you now is specifically to help diffuse and relieve stress.
All you have to do is begin to count your breath. You will Inhale for a [steady] count of 4. Hold that breath for a steady count of 4. Exhale for a steady count of 4. And Hold that last exhale for a steady count of 8. Try this breath [at least] five times before you go back to your normal breathing, and at the end you will notice how different you feel!
**(A great tip for counting your breath without getting lost, is to count on your fingers. Begin with your pinky, and count each time your fingers touch your thumb. [eg: pinky= 1, ring finger=2, middle finger=3, and index finger=4])**
And that's it! Who knew you were just 5 breaths a way to a more relaxed and easy you. =)
Be well,
and we hope that this helps your lives this holiday [and everyday] to be more joyous, fun, and relaxed!
Until next time,
Cindy
Personal Life Coach, Reiki & MCT Practitioner
Majestic Living
www.majesticlivingnow.com